Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
