I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
