Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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