ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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