Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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