I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
