NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
