if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
