Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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