alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
