this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
