I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
