Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
