Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
