Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
