Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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