He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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