Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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