me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
