so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
