guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
