(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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