Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
