I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
