ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
