so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
