Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
