on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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