dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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