I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
