i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Boobs speak an international language.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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