I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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