I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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