Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
