I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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