So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
