Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
