True but thats because hes a fetus.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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