I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
