does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
