It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
