in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
