that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
