the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
