thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
