so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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