I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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