grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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