You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
