Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
