This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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