This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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