god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
