The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
