K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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