Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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