these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
