So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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